A Weird Post About Creativity (Or The Lack Thereof)


I went downtown with one of my best friends the other day, where we ate lunch, had coffee, went hiking, and ice cream. During our time in the city, we went to the bookstore as well. I bought a few books & I’m in the middle of reading, The Artisan Soul by Erwin Raphael McManus. It’s a brilliant read so far, and I recommend every one of you reading this post to get that book!

It’s about creativity being in our souls since God is THE Creator & because we were made in His image, we are all called to create. The passage that has stuck out to me the most so far tells the story of the author’s dentist and his artistic expression through his profession. This guy plays music on the headset he gives you, and he has his patient put their hands in hot wax and speaks to them in a soothing voice. How this dentist cares so much for the one in the front of him. I read this and suddenly became so inspired to do everything with intention.

I then realized that as much as I’m overall pleased with my job, there is no personal expression, no room for creativity. Going outside the box would very likely get me fired. It hurt to realize that conformity in my workplace is why I’ve been feeling so uninspired artistically. It’s even harder to discover that my workplace has become a security blanket for me.

I want to be like that dentist, and have creativity pouring out from all areas. See, I want to express what the insides of me looks like, and leave some kind of legacy or contribution even. Don’t we all want to be a part of something?

My creativity means so much to me. I’m tired of environments make me afraid of failure. We need room to fail. It’s environments like that that increase my anxiety levels and cover up the creative process by repetitive procedure and systems.

You’ve seen videos and movies where the character is grey in a black and white world- uninspiring. I’m not sure why, but Groundhog Day comes to mind. Phil’s day becomes so repetitive, and I roll my eyes and cringe. “I don’t ever want to have a life like that”, my 9th grade self thinks in Ethics class. My life as a whole is not like that, but certain aspects are revealing themselves to me in this way- repetitive and meaningless, and I feel stuck in my tracks because I don’t know what to do about it.

I was made in the image of God- created to create lovely things nowhere near as lovely as creation itself. It’s discouraging to feel so uninspired, but somehow I will find something that allows freedom of artistic expression, and something I’ll feel so passionate about. In the meantime, I can still be intentional in my current area of expertise or mediocrity. I’ll find that inspiring environment one day, but it might take a while. That is a process that I’m sure I can be patient with.

To my fellow creatives, don’t be discouraged- we are made for this, and we can’t give up yet. We still have stories & light to share with everyone.


Coffee Chat: I Want To Be Close To God Again


For those of us who have been saved from hell & God’s wrath by Jesus Christ, we have known what it was like to walk with Him, to be completely devoted. We would do anything for the Gospel, and we would defend our faith until we were blue in the face. We would leap at the chance to read our bibles. But then, the world comes in and it’s difficult to find that perfect balance. School, homework, jobs, the sleep schedule (if there was one) all become top priority. We forget to read our bible, we don’t make time to pray, and before we know it, we’re found wondering why God feels so distant from us. This is what we keep getting wrong, however: God has never left us- He promised us. We know Him to be faithful. Instead, it’s we who have distanced ourselves away from Him and therefore made our relationship with Him weak.

I have asked around what others do when they are in this position, and they trying to get back to Christ. Below is a consensus of all the ideas we gathered together.

Read the bible. This is the simplest task, yet it takes so much effort for us to do, and this shouldn’t be the case. The bible is where it says that we were once far from God & were brought back. Why wouldn’t we want to be reminded of this, especially if we feel far away? Personally, I always find myself reading Hosea, because it reminds me of how imperfect I am, and how perfect the love of the Lord is. I could feel like utter crap, but because God’s love is greater than anything, my soul can rest a bit better. There’s so much truth in the bible, and we deprive ourselves of knowing God each time we don’t make the effort to read it. Jesus took the cross upon Himself, the most brutal of deaths. I think we can make a tiny effort to read a passage. “All to Him I owe”, right?

Pray. I’ll admit, this is difficult for me. I know it’s hard for others as well. What I do when I can’t pray out loud, I write them down like letters or poems. We should all force ourselves to pray out loud though. A relationship works best when we are actually talking to the person- not just writing letters all the time. You want to SPEND TIME with the other person. Yes, it’s awkward, but it’s also very personal and real. There’s power in saying Jesus’ name audibly. It’s vulnerable and intimate. It makes me feel better knowing that God understands all that I’m trying to say, even when I can’t form it into words.

Genuinely worship. We can sing songs about Jesus all we want, but if we don’t take the lyrics and make them our prayers, it’s harder to be genuine. I remember what God has done for me in the past, and that allows me to worship Him wholly, because I’m reminded of His strength. It’s easier to focus on Him when I’m not thinking about myself (which is obvious, I’m sure, but I had to say it). Focusing on the words helps as well, because the lyrics serve as reminders.

Examine yourself and repent. People aren’t going to like this one. Most people do the “examine yourself” part and acknowledge the things that get in the way between them and God, but it’s rare to hear about the “repent” part. Probably because people don’t like feeling like they’ve done anything wrong, or admitting that it was their fault that they are distant from God. Pride is a terrible thing, and it hurts many relationships, all because someone didn’t want to admit when they were wrong. We know we’re in the wrong, so we should just examine ourselves and repent from the bottom of our hearts, especially if God means that much to us. It only makes sense.

Remember the promises of God. This goes hand in hand with reading the bible. It takes reading to know what God has promised. If you don’t know the promises of God, I suggest getting a notebook. Start reading in Genesis, and write the verses you find where God promises something. I’ve been doing this exact study then (of course) life got in the way, and I stopped. I should start that up again. It strengthens me a lot, and helps with anxiety quite a bit.

Begin seeking again. Start now. There’s nothing stopping us in this moment from reading our bible and digging into the word of God, from praying, from repenting, and starting over. To take up our cross and follow Jesus to our deaths. We are encouraged to start over fresh and brand new, walking hand in hand with Him again once more. And when we drift off again (always by accident), Jesus will be there to welcome us back to Him. Until then, let’s run back to Him until we are breathless and our feet bleed.