The 4 C’s of Friendship


This week was great. I had something to look forward to almost every day! Monday, I had dinner with someone I deeply care about and we watched a Shrek movie. On Tuesday, I had coffee with my best friend & we talked about tv shows, worship (always love talking worship with them), music we’re currently loving, and the weekend to come. Thursday was worship night & I led alongside my best friend, and it was beautiful. Everyone’s voices together made the most lovely sounds I’ve ever heard! On Saturday, I went thrift shopping & got coffee with my best friend, and then we went to church. Again, we led worship with all our friends. Mix some vulnerable conversations & forgiveness in there and you’ve got the best Saturday. On Sunday, I woke up early & met up with a friend. Buying coffee for people is one of my favorite things, when I can afford it. Then we went to church, where we worshiped some more.

I swear, the weekend is fueled by company & coffee. I was thinking about this weekend & why I loved it so much. I came up with 4: Community, Conversation, Company, and Coffee. Let’s talk about these points, shall we?

Community: This is a favorite word in my circle of friends. We value this concept. From my knowledge, we’ve all experienced isolation. It’s disheartening & lonely. I remember in high school, I saw someone sitting alone at the cafeteria, and it hurt me; I knew what it was like to be alone. I went over to them, and asked if I could join them, & I had made a friend just then. We can learn so much from each other when we’re together. It broadens our minds. There’s a joy in just being together & my friends and I are always learning this. My friends bless me deeply & I’d like to think I bless them as well.

Conversation: I really enjoy talking to my friends; we always have encouragement & a helpful word to offer. We need to constantly be in conversation with one another- how else will we be able know the other is doing? And with conversation & communication comes with vulnerability & honesty. Putting all our feelings out on the table is hard sometimes. But here’s the thing about community: we need to support each other- nobody can be left in the dark. Even if someone hurt your feelings, we have to say something. Only then can we give forgiveness & things can be fixed. I’m learning this, and it really is harder than I thought. I don’t like confrontation of any kind, because the thought of potentially hurting a friend’s feelings or making things weird, makes me feel awful. Sometimes I just need a push. Friends don’t want to hurt me,in fact, they love me, so it’s best to speak up when they do.

Company: This goes hand in hand with the point I made on community. Isolation is a slow killer, and ruins the soul. I think communicating when we are going through a tough time is very important, because we can’t push our struggles to the side. But reaching out when we know someone’s in need of it really helps. Being together is important & strengthens the friendship itself. All we really need is someone to help us carry our burden.

“Bear on another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” -Galatians 6:2

“Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you are also doing.”       -1 Thessalonians 5:11

In carrying each other’s burdens, we are showing an example of love. And I love my friends. They mean a great deal to me, and I’m pretty confident to say that I would die for them if I had to. They’re incredible & precious people, with so much potential to be even more incredible, and I can’t wait to see how they are shaped. But I digress. Being alone can hurt us when we’re struggling, so we need to reach out to others, & ask others to reach out to us.

Coffee: I don’t know how many cups of coffee I’ve consumed throughout the week, but the majority have been consumed with the company of people I love fiercely. I love meeting friends for coffee- it adds to the warmth that they already emit. It embodies the community & conversation that I’ve talked about already. I love asking or receiving the question, “Wanna go get coffee?” because you know that some intense stuff will be going down at some point. It’s just nice to be with people, you know? I also just love coffee & I know lots of my friends do too. It’s a bonding experience.

I’m gonna gush about my friends because I feel like I don’t do it enough. They fill me with so much warmth & they’re incredibly wholesome. I’m so thankful that they open my mind & encourage me to open up to them. My friends give me so much joy, and I really love being with them. They’re the best, truly. I can’t explain it (I’m welling up with happiness as I type- they overwhelm me sometimes, and it’s the best).

I hope you get to pour into your friends with all the intention you have, and that you become closer as a community together.


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