*I was debating whether or not I should write this post. I already wrote over 10 posts where I talk about my issues. I complain so much. But that’s the point of this blog- that I can talk about my life so that others don’t feel like they’re the only ones. There’s always someone who has gone through something similar. Here we go.
This week has been pretty difficult so far, and I’m ready for the week to be over. It was so good a few days ago; I even blogged about it! I don’t understand how it could flip so quickly. I can’t even pinpoint why this week was so bad. I got the feeling like I was bothering everybody who talked to me over the last few days. I feel like everyone perceives me in a harsh light. I’m in a constant state of freaking out about the future. I’m in this really weird & terrifying position where I need to move, but when I want to move, I can’t budge. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. What will become of my life, or of me?
I was reading Zechariah this evening & I wanted to share a passage from chapter 3.
“Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the Lord, and Satan standing at his right side to accuse him. The Lord said to Satan, “The Lord rebuke you, Satan! The Lord, who has chosen Jerusalem, rebuke you! Is not this man a burning stick snatched from the fire?”
Now Joshua was dressed in filthy clothes as he stood before the angel.
The angel said to those who were standing before him, “Take off his filthy clothes.” Then he said to Joshua, “See, I have taken away your sin, and I will put fine garments on you.” Then I said, “Put a clean turban on his head.”
So they put a clean turban on his head and clothed him, while the angel of the Lord stood by.” – from Zechariah 3:1-5
God rebuked Satan because Joshua was a “brand plucked from the fire”; implying the idea that he was saved from complete destruction.
I might have had a bad week so far, but that doesn’t determine my life. And although I’m not promised an easy life because I have Jesus, I’m promised His Spirit because He said He wouldn’t leave. He has me, therefore I need to give into peace & bravery, not fear & anxiety. It’s never easy, because I struggle with this almost daily, but I’m still learning to keep leaning on Jesus- He’s the only one who will get me through the day.
This week’s just been hard on me, mentally. Maybe I just need to chill out. I hope it gets better. If you read this, I hope you have a good day tomorrow.