Last month, I was really into the whole being-intentional-with-people idea. I still am. I believe that in order to maintain & create community, we must reach out to others. Opportunities will remain opportunities if we just sit there without reaching. I think it’s one of my favorite things, reaching out to people. “If only they knew how cared for & loved they are,” I would say to myself. “I’m going to go over there to talk to them and spend time with them.” It’s in that moment that I can cherish & love a friend more dearly (It’s kinda funny; I used to think I didn’t have a lot of friends, because I thought friends were people I would talk very frequently with & see regularly. But now, I see that my friends are people who have come into close contact with me, even if it was for a short period of time. Maybe I talk to a small amount of people on the daily, but I hold each person dear who has come into my life, and I’ll consider them dearly for the rest of my life. Dang, I love them so much).
I think action following up intention is pretty important, because it clearly shows how serious someone is about something. You want to be friends? You’re gonna reach out often & show them how serious you are about it. You want to make a difference in someone’s life? You’ll examine your life and say, “How can I act in a way that will impact this person?” You want something pretty badly? You’re gonna have to start reaching out & trying to obtain that thing (I’m actually learning this right now, and let me tell you how hard it is).
It’s hard to be serious about something sometimes, whether it’s a friendship, relationship, or even a job, because it’s a commitment. Acting upon the whole being-intentional thing implies that you’re committed. And once something else comes along, we want to move on to the next thing. Repeat. Repeat. At that point, the intention of developing community is long gone because we don’t want to try to cultivate life where we are. We become nomadic instead of sedentary- not that traveling all over the place is a bad thing- it’s not a bad thing at all. But your community will be scattered because there’s always gonna be the next best thing.
Sometimes the “next best thing” is what you have decided to cultivated & take time for.
I’m learning that reaching out is not a bad thing. Asking questions in order to get answers is not a bad thing. Reaching out & asking questions further proves that you’re being legit. I’m also [still] learning that putting yourself out there is embarrassing. Asking for forgiveness is embarrassing. But I’ll never know what could happen if I don’t ask questions, or if I don’t expose myself like that. A part of community that is so important yet overlooked is that we’re going to hurt people, accidentally or not. It’s life, but it still sucks. And the only way to fix it is by putting ourselves out on the line & saying “do you forgive me?”. That’s another post for another day.