We have another guest who’s going to share some of her heart with us! Maddie has shared with us before, but she’s lovely and always has some insight, so I asked her to do it again!
We were supposed to be quiet and I was afraid those near me could hear my heartbeat.
I knew what God wanted me to do, just as I knew air was flowing in and out of my lungs.
I looked over at my friend, who had no idea what I was about to tell her. Satan whispered lies in my head – she’ll never love you once she knows what you’ve done.
Fear’s grip on my heart tightened. I knew Christ was pushing me towards authenticity and honesty, but the power of fear seemed too large to conquer. I prayed for God to give the the words to say and the courage to say.
And, with a whisper, it was done. I had told my friend about my deepest sins, the mistakes that bruised my past, and the shame still burning inside me. Instead of a judgemental glance, I was met with arms open wide. She told me that she struggled with the same things I did.
When it was all said and done, I felt ashamed of my hesitancy to answer God’s call. I knew it was His voice – it was calling me towards intimacy and honesty. I knew the other voice was from Satan – it was calling me into isolation and fear. Now, it all seems so black and white, but, in the moment, I was caught up in the shades of gray. I knew what God wanted me to do, but I had found myself tripping over Satan’s lies on my way there.
Here’s the truth of the matter – God works for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28). Even when He calls us to speak up in the face of fear, He is working for our good. He is calling us out of the wilderness and into the Church, into love, into community. We can recognize His voice by the things He calls us to, and the same goes for Satan.
Though a spiritual battle may be raging in your heart today, you are not alone, and you need not fear. The victory was won two thousand years ago on the Cross. In His victory, we can stand up to the grip fear has on us and embrace authenticity with ourselves, with those around us, and with God.
With His Love,