“I have such a burden right now, and I can’t even place what it is. But Jesus dies on Friday, and everyone is just going about their week like they have no idea what Friday even is. Soon, Jesus has His last supper on earth with His friends, and they are still unaware of the events that will happen a few hours from then. The world is a tarnished place, and I’m imperfect, and my imperfection caused His death. Everyone’s mourning begins on Saturday, but my mourning begins now.” -Taken from my Instagram, yesterday.
Easter is coming up quicker than I anticipated, and while the world is stressing over their annual chocolate hauls, and my family is organizing the epic annual Easter Egg Hunt (which I’m gonna win, again), all I can think about is the coming death of Jesus. You see, we often think about death as unfair. That’s exactly what Jesus’ death was. He was innocent, and innocent people shouldn’t die. I don’t even think people who deserve death should die. Death shouldn’t exist. Unfortunately, it does.
Friday is the day that Jesus dies on that famous Cross, the only death that could save us from our sin & imperfections that made Him die in the first place. It’s not fair that He had to die on my account. My heart curls in disgust at my sin. Before I wrote this, I was watching a tv show and pinning away on Pinterest. I was just going about my day like I totally forgot what Friday was. And it saddens me how easy it is for me to forget one of the most important days in history.
I think of the Passover feast that Jesus had with His disciples. He eats with them for the last time, and He tries to tell them what’s going to happen in the next few hours. But they’re all distracted by the food, by each other, and they aren’t focusing on the words that Jesus is trying to say:
“Soon, I am going to die.”
I can imagine that Jesus might have been frustrated with His friends. They’re reluctant to drink the wine and eat the bread, because let’s be real- is this actually Jesus’ body & blood? I can imagine Jesus with His head in His hands saying, “Guys. It’s a metaphor. Listen to Me, PLEASE.” But they just can’t seem to understand.
I’ve been thinking a lot this week about how my imperfection caused Jesus to die because of me. It’s not fair that He had to die. But I know that it was for a greater cause; Jesus didn’t just die for me. He died to save the entire world from Hell. That proves His greatness & legitimacy. I’m incredulous that someone so perfect could love someone so imperfect like myself- it’s crazy! But I’m gonna continue mourning until Sunday- how important it is that we keep our hearts in check.
(Please note that this isn’t the end of the story! There’s more to come!)