I remember before I had moved, I wasn’t reading my bible as often as I should have. Granted, I was busy packing stuff. However, I had no excuses. I haven’t prayed as much either. But I know that my love for God hadn’t weakened. I still had a passion for learning about Him, singing to Him, and telling people about Him. I knew that my relationship & friendship with Him was at risk. I had to fix it somehow, but how does one go about such an endeavor? Telling the Creator of the universe, the One who came to save you, me, and the world, that somewhere along the line I made a mistake? So I got thinking. For a while, almost every night when I was in bed alone with my thoughts, I would think some pretty heartbreaking things.
‘Am I still worth working on?’
I got settled into my new living space, and life went at a steadier pace again. I was still, if not more eager to get to church on Sunday, excited to connect with my kids on Friday nights, eager to sing my adoration in worship, and be still in the presence of God. I knew that I was still worth working on, by God’s standards. Of course I was, or else He would have discarded me long ago. I am a flawed human, where shiny things steal my attention, and other things make me curious. I am a child full of wonder, and sometimes my wonder doesn’t work in my favor. But God has always been there, never leaving me, and always wanting me to be a better version of myself. He is always working on me.
The whole time I’ve been writing this post, I came to the conclusion that I’ve been asking the wrong question. Yes, I’m worth working on. That’s always been true, and I’ve always known that. But when I’m in a time where I’m not spending time with Him, the question shouldn’t be “Am I still worth working on?“, rather, it should be “Is God still worth chasing?”
The answer is always going to be yes. He is still worth chasing, because when things are hard, and your world feels like it’s spinning out of control, He’s constantly with you. He is always there, holding your hand, and asking you to come to Him. It’s okay to admit to God that you haven’t spent time with Him and you need His help. He’s not afraid or mad. He wants you to be the best version of yourself, He wants you to come to Him, and He wants you to see that He is worth it. God is still worth chasing because He is constant in a world that is unpredictable!