First things first- asking God questions is not a sin. It’s okay to have questions! I believe that God welcomes hard questions, confusions, and difficulties.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?” -Matthew 7:7-9
Why would God want to withhold wisdom and intelligence from His children? I believe that He reveals to us what we need to know. The rest isn’t for us to know in the moment. I’ve had many times when I was at a loss and asked God why these events unfolded the way that they did. My soul was broken. I believe that by His grace, He allowed me to receive the answer after the crisis had passed. My eyes were open to the destruction that He was saving me from. It was like a puzzle piece that made everything else easier to understand.
I think it’s so important to understand that God can do whatever He wants. That means He can choose to either answer or not answer our questions. He can answer them now or later. I still have questions that I’m still awaiting the answer for. There are some that I’ve waited forever on. It’s come to the point where it all boils down to one thing:
If I never get an answer, God is still good.
We must never forget that even in our frustration, confusion, anger, and impatience, that God is still on enthroned, and that He has the final word. We can ask always, but what God does is ultimately up to Himself. We must remember that He is always working in us for the furthering of His kingdom.
Keep seeking, friends.